Apple resized lineup gone pear-shaped

After reading through the collective techgasm of press from sites like gizmodo and geekologie covering the new Apple lineup, I've come to the following conclusion.

I still don't need anything Apple.

I don't need a Nano that holds 4 songs. I don't need a "Classic" that is on par with technology from five years ago. I don't need an "ITouch" (ITouch? Is Michael Jackson doing product marketing for Apple now?) with about the same storage space as an IPhone, but without the ability to make calls, yay! Useless. And I don't need an already outdated IPhone, which has less functionality than my 3 year old current phone, for three times the price (see the Maddox rant).

After the gizmodo milktoast treatment, they themselves admitted, and I quote, "None of these new iPods are really what I'm looking for; Apple went and spread the features I want across multiple devices."

Just further proving my point, Apple is run by a bunch of soulless ex-hipsters who hang around all day telling each other how cool they think they are. You know what? Anyone who knows how to code PRINT "Hello World" thinks you guys are morons.

I'd rather be fat PC nerd.

Here's what us nerds do need, Mos Eisley Spaceport. Opens in 2010, the New Mexico Virgin Galactic Spaceport promises to provide all the scum and villainy space travelers need, in an eco-friendly
ultra-modern facility...that also looks like a hemmoroid donut.

Han shot first.